HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

Today is Dad's birthday. I won't reveal his age because it would probably be embarassing for him. Then again, he's so old he would probably never remember being embarassed about it. JUST KIDDING, DAD! :]

Anyway, in honor of Dad's birthday, I've included a list of the ___ reasons why I love Dad/memories I have with Dad.

*Note: These are in no particular order. =]

-Every year, Dad gets M&Ms for his birthday because they're his favorite.

-It's a tradition to always get our picture taken with Dad on his birthday and we all have to have BIG smiles. Like this:

-Dad and I love rollercoasters, so we take Daddy-Daughter trips to King's Island and Cedar Point.

-Dad brought me out to school last fall. It was a lot of fun and really hard to see him leave.

-Dad and I are lactarded (lactose intolerant).

-Dad used to play kitchen with me when I was little. We have a picture of it somewhere.

-Dad used to take me to the park when we lived in Chicago. Sometimes we would walk and sometimes we'd ride our bikes.

-Dad always cheers on his Cougars.

-One time at Family Home Evening, we were doing a scripture crossword and someone asked, "What's 'Nephi 2:2?'" Dad said, "It's the frilly little skirt that Nephi wears." Haha. Oh, Dad.

-Dad and I used to wash the car (I think it was named Blanche) all the time when we lived in Chicago. We have a picture of that too.

-Dad used to always take me to Burger King on his day off.

-Dad and I, thanks to my Aunt Aimee and Uncle Dallin, have tasted the greatness that is Five Guys.

-Dad and I like to go on walks. I miss that a lot. Sometimes he barks at the dogs in the neighborhood. Haha.

-Before our neighborhood was really developed, we had a lot of dirt roads and hills in our neighborhood, so Dad and I used to ride our bikes through there all the time.

-Many of our bike rides ended up at Alexander's (this was pre-lactardedness).

-Dad took me to Washington D.C. for my senior trip. We kept taking pictures of us posing like the statues of the Presidents and other famous people.

-Dad used to swing dance with me at the church dances. One time, while showing off his crazy dance moves, he ran into this girl and almost hit her in the face. That was the end of his dancing for the night. Haha.

-Dad and I love to watch movies.

-Dad is the king of James Bond Scene-It. I don't even think James Bond himself stands a chance.

-Dad took Robbie and me to a Cub's game about 2 and 1/2 years ago--right when Robbie got back from his mission.

-Dad does the Mini-Marathon every year. What a beast.

-One year, Robbie and I ran the Mini, so we were waiting for Dad to finish. Robbie said, "Hey, wait! That's him right there!" I said, "No, that guy's running. It's not Dad." Sure enough, Robbie was right. Afterwards, we asked Dad why he was running and he said, "Well, there was a guy in front of me with a prosthetic leg and I wasn't about to let a one-legged man beat me."

-When I was about 5, Dad told me he was taking me to lunch to get McDonald's. He lied...a little. He took me to get my shot that I needed for school. And then we went to McDonald's.

-This is probably my parent's favorite memory (I think I was about 7 when this happened): I did something wrong (imagine that) and so Dad said, "You know what? I can't even talk to you right now, so go to your room." Being my dramatic self, I walked up the stairs to my room crying and shouting, "I can't believe it! My own father won't even speak to me!" I went into my room and turned on the tape that was in my tape player so I could calm down. Ironically, the first song that came on was "I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home." Dad still loves to tease me about that.

-I went to pick up Dad from work last winter. When I walked in, I asked "K-Fed" (they all have gangster names for each other) where Dad was and he said, "Oh, he's back here. I'll show you." I walked into the office where Dad was and K-Fed said, "See, Byron? I told you I'd have her back by 6." Haha. Dad said, "That is so wrong on so many levels."

-The first day I ever drove a car, Dad had taken me to the high school parking lot to practice. When I was practicing a right turn, I cut it too tightly and drove over the curb of the median. Dad yelled, "Careful! You just ran over a baby!" Trying to freak me out behind the wheel. What a jerk. :]

-Steak 'n' Shake is on everyone's bucket list. If you didn't know that before, well, now you do. It's amazing. They started this thing (maybe it's still going on, but I'm not sure) where you can get 4 different meals for under $4 each. Well, the little advertisement says "4 meals under $4." When I went with Dad one time, the waitress came by to take our orders. Dad said, "Yes, um, I'd like these 4 meals for under $4 please." Haha. I think the waitress was having a bad day because she didn't laugh.

-For as long as I can remember, Dad has always taken turns with us kids taking us out to breakfast on Saturday mornings. Whenever it's our turn, we get to pick where we go. Dad and I usually end up going to either Bob Evans or Jim Dandy's. We love Jim Dandy's because that's the classic old diner. All the old people that have been going there since the 1700s are always there with their baseball caps and all.

-Dad and I are big fans of Barry Manilow. Whenever we're in the car and he shuffles on our iPods, we sing it at the top of our lungs. Our favorites are "This One's For You," "Somewhere In the Night," "I Made It Through The Rain," "The Old Songs," and "Somewhere Down The Road." Our all-time favorite is "I Write The Songs." You've never heard or seen anything like Dad and I singing "I Write The Songs" at the top of our lungs in the middle of snowy Nevada (It had been a long trip).

-Speaking of singing, Sarah can probably remember this one. On the way home from a stake fireside, Dad and I sang along with the MoTab to "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." I'm telling you, we should audition for American Idol. No one would even bother auditioning after they heard us.

-I love when Dad makes his crying face. My family knows exactly what I'm talking about.

-I love when Dad talks like Kermit the Frog and Donald Duck.

-I love how Dad irons his t-shirts.

-I love Dad's "Tammy Guns" (Dad works with a personal trainer named Tammy, so he refers to his muscles as his "Tammy Guns").

-One time after Dad came home from working out with Tammy, he sat down at the kitchen table and had a Hostess Cupcake. I said, "Dad, you just worked out, you can't eat that." He responded, "Hey, I work out so that I can eat this." Haha.

-Dad loves those Hostess Cupcakes. For as long as I can remember, we've called them "Daddy Cakes."

-Every year after we got back from trick-or-treating, we have to give Dad our "Daddy Tax." We basically just give him all of the candy we don't want...and some of our M&Ms since they're his favorite.

-One time at Girls' Camp, Dad came for Bishop's Night. He had given the lesson and then he decided that we were going to race to the mess hall. Some of the girls didn't run, so he said, "Last one there has to give a talk on Sunday!" That got the girls bookin'.

-During Fast and Testimony Meeting at church, Dad always leans over to me and says, "Hey, go up there and tell everyone how wonderful I am."

-Dad doesn't understand why people always say, "For those of you who don't know me...." He says, "What is that? Does that mean you're someone else if people don't know who you are?" So one time at a work meeing, Dad introduced himself and said, "For those of you don't know me, I'm Brad Pitt."

-Dad and I went to see Harry Potter the movie theatre and there was a poster ad for "King Kong" outside the theatre. Dad said, "Woah. Hermione got really ugly." A few moments later, he mistakenly walked into the wall thinking it was the entrance to the theatre. He was so funny. He just turned around and said, "I guess that's not where we're supposed to go." Haha.

-Our family used to go to Disneyland every year. Because Dad and I love rollercoasters, we used to get hopper passes for "Disneyland" and "California Adventure." We'd always go spend the day at California Adventure by ourselves and then take the rest of the family to Disneyland the next day. Because Disneyland opens earlier, we went there and rode some of the rides. We also bumped into Aladdin and Jasmine. Dad went up to Aladdin and said, "Can I get my picture taken with just Jasmine?" Aladdin replied, "Sure. She is very beautiful." I, of course, got to be the photographer. =]

-Dad thinks Grace Kelly is a babe. He jokes that if someone ever made a movie about his life, he'd want Grace Kelly to play Mom. After Dad said that, Mom said, "What? So I look worse than a dead person?" Way to go, Dad.

-Dad baptized and confirmed me on December 28, 1997.

-Dad's first order of business as Bishop of the Noblesville Ward was to give me my "Gospel In Action" Award.

-After my last youth temple trip, Brother Ramsey thought he could beat Dad to Steak 'n' Shake in his mini-van. Yeah, right. Dad drove his Lincoln MKZ. There was no way that Brother Ramsey was going to beat us. He persisted, so we raced. They started to pass us and I freaked out. Dad just calmly said, "It's okay, they're in the turn lane and we need to go straight." So we just went along on our merry way. A few minutes later, they passed us again. I freaked out...again. Dad...again...just calmly said, "It's okay. They're getting off the wrong exit. We need the next one." A few minutes later, we showed up at Steak 'n' Shake. In front of the Ramseys. Thanks, Dad.

-I don't know why I remember this because this happened ages ago, but one of my most favorite memories of Dad is when we lived in Chicago. I was probably about 4 or 5, maybe 6, and I remember Dad dancing with me in the kitchen. I remember looking in the microwave and seeing my reflection. I've always thought it was so funny that that's one of my most favorite memories because I don't like to dance.

-Dad tried to play out of my "Pirates of the Caribbean" piano book one time. He was playing, "Jack Sparrow" from the second movie. The right hand during a portion of the song is just eigth-note chords over and over which switch every few measures. We decided to tag-team it and I played the left hand while he played the right. Since he doesn't really play the piano, I had to tell him when to switch. He wasn't keeping the beat at all. Well, you can imagine just how hilarious it was.

-Dad doesn't know hardly any of the Primary songs by heart. He always needs his book. However, he could sing the BYU Fight Song backwards in his sleep. Unlike most LDS parents who sing Primary songs to their children to get them to go to sleep, Dad always turned the BYU Fight Song into our lullaby.

-Dad always read stories to us when we were little. I remember helping Mom in the kitchen one time while he was reading "The Jungle Book" to Alec and Rachel. Of course, whenever Dad reads to us, he never sticks to the story word-for-word, so I'm listening to this story about how Mogli wacked the tiger (I don't know how to spell the tiger's name) with his big, heavy purse among other things. It was hilarious.

-I let Dad pick what ringtone my phone rang when he called. He picked, "Hail to the Chief." I love it when he calls.

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Brad Pitt himself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!